Love Story for the Brokenhearted

“If Brennan Manning writes it, then I’m going to read it.”

That is how Mark Batterson starts the foreword to Brennan Manning’s new book, The Furious Longing of God, and I could not agree more. Manning, the original ragamuffin, has done it again with a thought-provoking book that looks at the “radical, no-holds-barred love of our Heavenly Father.”

Consider this from the book’s back cover…

“…a love story for the brokenhearted. For those who are burdened by heavy religion. For those who feel they can never measure up.”

Is it obvious why I relate to his writing so much? Those themes permeate this blog.

As many of you know, it was Manning’s book, Abba’s Child, that radically transformed my view of God and His feelings toward me. This book looks to expand on the theme of God’s love…something I definitely need to be reminded of.

I have provided links for these two books, along with Ragamuffin Gospel, below. Order your copies today!

I’d love to hear your feedback on the book or how Brennan Manning has impacted you in the past.

Trusting My GPS

Driving home from my conference in Orange Beach, Alabama this past Thursday, I found myself winding through small Florida towns…faithfully following the turn-by-turn instructions of my Garmin GPS navigation system. When I realized that I was in Florida, it dawned on me that maybe…just maybe…my Garmin might be taking me the wrong way, or, at least the long way home.

You have to know that my driving has become so much more stress free since I gave myself the Garmin for Christmas in 2007. It is so nice to be able to hit the road at 6 or so in the morning headed to a meeting somewhere in Mississippi and not only get turn-by-turn directions for how to get to my destination, but also get an estimated time of arrival. This is huge because so much of my stress pre-Garmin was related to not knowing exactly how long it was going to take me to get to a destination that I had never been to before. The thought of a crowded room of school administrators waiting for the “PLATO guy” was none too pleasing and has virtually become a thing of the past since getting the Garmin.

So there I was in the panhandle of Florida, having left a town in Alabama trying to get to my home in Alabama, suddenly second-guessing my trusty Garmin that was taking me through Florida. In that moment I realized just how much faith and trust I put into my dashboard device. I reflected on that as I made another turn and twittered,

“I wish I followed God as faithfully as I follow my Garmin’s turn-by-turn directions.”

I was exposed. Why was it that I was only second-guessing the Garmin because it had unexpectedly taken me into another state to get me home, yet I second-guess God so often for so much less? I thought about how many previous trips I confidently made the turns I was told to make…even the trip that took me on 3 different dirt roads! I flippantly thought “O well this is different” and kept driving with confidence and made it to my destination just fine.

Yet I so quickly second-guess my Heavenly Father when life presents an unexpected turn in the road and my orphan thinking immediately wants to take over. I think the key word there is “unexpected” and gets to the heart of the matter. I am fine as long as long as things are unfolding as I expect them to unfold and get upset when I start heading in a direction I was not anticipating. I exhibit more faith and trust in my Global Positioning System than I do in my Abba Father who created the universe and everything in it and yet still knows how many hairs I have on my head. (A few less than yesterday, I might add.)

Preaching the Gospel to myself each and every day involves reminding myself that God loves me and that His heart and plans for me are good…even if my circumstances in the moment seem to tell a different story. I am learning to die to my expectations and to live each day as a wild-hearted adventure with my wild-hearted Abba Father who loves me with an intense, consuming love. He is my Gospel Positioning System and He has never left me or forsaken me.

Misinterpreting My Story

This past Tuesday was profound for me. I watched a 20 minute video that allowed me to see my life from a completely new perspective and it left me weeping. It has been awhile since I cried that hard.

The video is of Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz and Searching for God Knows What talking about story. What is the big deal about that, you ask?

First, here is the link to the video. It is just under 20 minutes, but I assure you it will be 20 minutes well spent.

Donald Miller | How Narrative Shapes Culture

I realized as I watched Donald Miller talk about story that there events in my own story that I had misinterpreted and misunderstood. The biggie happened when I was 22 years old. Up until the fall of 1993, everything in my life had unfolded in basically a positive direction. I started preaching at 15 and also had a dream to play Division 1 basketball and my junior year in High School, Samford, a school that had just moved to Division 1, started recruiting me.

“Cool God! I love how You are working these things out!”

Samford stopped recruiting me for an athletic scholarship my senior year but instead asked me to be an invited walk-on. Still cool, because by that time I had secured a Presidential scholarship to Samford.

“God closes one door and presto another one opens!”

I get to Samford and soon realize that I don’t have a spot on the team as a walk-on. I grieved the death of that dream for awhile, but about 2 weeks later I get a call from back home inviting me to pastor a new church being started on Lake Wedowee.

“Oh now I see God. You closed the basketball door because there is no way I could pastor if I was on the basketball team. I get it!”

I pastored Lakeside Community Church for 2 years and resigned in May of 1993, the same month that I graduated from Samford. Frankly, I was burned out because I had no idea how to set boundaries and was wearing myself out trying to serve as pastor. Rick Ousley did a revival that month in Randolph County of all places and I met with him and he invited me to join Brook Hill’s “Road Warriors”…a group of music and preaching evangelists that Brook Hills was going to promote and send out. He told me that Brook Hills was going to put together a 4-color glossy brochure featuring all 10 of us “Road Warriors” and then were going to mail it to every church in the SBC.

“God, You are simply amazing. I don’t even have to figure out how to promote myself or start an evangelistic ministry! Thank You!”

So Melody and I, still newlyweds, lived off of savings for that summer and highly anticipated the brochure going out in the fall and all of the great and wonderful places we were going to get to go to and speak. Our first “Road Warrior” meeting was scheduled that fall and I couldn’t wait to hear how everything was going to be unveiled. Well, five minutes into the meeting I discovered that the purpose of the meeting was for me to inform the committee concerning my plans to launch my ministry. What? That was not what I was told. Never once did anyone mention the glossy brochure.

“God, what is up with this? We need money!”

I left that meeting panicked and completely dejected. For the first time in my life, heaven seemed silent. The next week I was in a coat and tie interviewing for a job selling cellular phones in Roebuck, Alabama. I found out about the job in the want ads. I NEVER pictured myself working a secular job. I had been called to preach at 14. I spent 4 years studying for the ministry at Samford. What was this all about?

As I listened to Don Miller speak about story, God took me back to those events in the fall of 1993. For the first time in my life, life threw me a curve ball and I felt like I had struck out. There was no “open door” waiting for me to walk through. It was a devastating blow that would have profound effects on my life.

Looking back, I felt God was pretty pleased that I was on His team. He had called me early and had gifted me to proclaim His word because He had big plans for me in His kingdom. Selling cell phones in Roebuck, Alabama was not a part of that plan. Couldn’t be. So I came to two fatal conclusions about God and His heart toward me based on that series of events:

1)God is angry about my struggle with pornography and this is His punishment.
2)God can’t be counted on to take care of me. I am now own my own.

Those two lies were deadly and would have a profound impact on the rest of my story. I realize now that I parted company with God in a sense that fall. It wasn’t a conscious parting ways, but at the heart level I felt like God was mad with me, was punishing me, and that I had better fix things on my own and then come back and have fellowship with God. I vowed to work harder and to be more devout, but in my heart I was not so sure God could be trusted or counted on.

In this paradigm I was in, I could not invite God into my struggle or my problem but needed to deal with it on my own so I could once again find favor with God. At the core, I didn’t believe that the Gospel was true. God couldn’t love me as I am and my proof was having to sell cell phones in Roebuck. Donald Miller’s words from the video shot into my heart Tuesday when he said,

“Joy doesn’t change us…conflict does. Conflict is necessary in every story.”

Wow! How I wish I had seen my life in the context of a narrative during those fateful events of ’93. Instead of seeing God using conflict to punish me, what if I had interpreted that as Him loving me well? I was convicted Tuesday of how I have bought into the story of American consumerism more than God’s bigger story. I have made judgement calls about my story based on comparison to the American Dream rather than THE story that God is telling.

As you listen to Donald Miller, think about what lies you have believed over the years that have shaped your own story. God is Sovereign and truly does work ALL things together for our good.

I want to embrace the conflict and step boldly into my story and the stories of others. Want to join me?

White Squirrels and Waterfalls

We had an amazing Easter weekend visiting Melody’s parents in beautiful Brevard, NC. Brevard is in Transylvania County, which is nicknamed “The Land of Waterfalls” because it is home to over 250 waterfalls! Brevard also is home to white squirrels. These are not albino squirrels, but a separate species altogether from the more common gray squirrel. The Brocks had two white squirrels in their backyard every morning and we got to watch them over breakfast. They were quite territorial and ran off the one gray squirrel who came near the feeder.

Here is a shot of one of Brevard’s white squirrels…

The highlight of the weekend was getting to hike Daniel Ridge Trail. Daniel Ridge is a 14 mile loop that follows the Davidson River upstream with breath-taking views around every turn. (At one point, it was in the top 5 mountain biking AND hiking trails in the US simultaneously.)

I snapped some photos below, but, because it was pretty overcast, they did not do justice to the scenery we were enjoying Click HERE to see some much better photos of the waterfalls and a great description of this wonderful trail. If you love the outdoors and find yourself in the Blue Ridge Mountains, you MUST take the time and enjoy this trail.

Here are some of the shots I took during our hike.

Carpe Diem in Greenwood, MS

I am sitting at The Crystal Grill in downtown Greenwood, MS and have just devoured some great Southern-fried chicken (white meat, of course), mashed potatoes and gravy, candied yams (with just the right amount of cinnamon and sugar), and a piece of chocolate pie with meringue so high I’m certain my server had to clear it with NASA. The meal was wonderful and I’m incredibly stuffed and in great need of a nap. (I might just head on over to The Alluvian.) The bill just arrived and my entire meal was less than 11 bucks! How in the world?

Because I needed a plug for my laptop, they led me to a separate dining room that was somewhat secluded from the rest of the restaurant. The only other patrons in this particular section of Crystal’s were 4 generations of a family eating with the owner, Mr. Ballas. Because I was by myself and they were so loud, I could not help but overhear their conversation.

Turns out Mr. Ballas came over from Italy and, as he put it, “could not speak a lick of English” when he arrived in the states. He told them about the Depression and how he worked a month as an apprentice to the dishwasher before he even started getting paid his $1 per day wage. I was captivated as he spun story after story, finishing up with the tale of how he eventually wound up in Mississippi’s Delta.

As they departed a few moments ago and said their goodbye’s, I made a decision that I want to be a better storyteller and a more observant Ragamuffin. I long for the day where my kids and their kids and maybe even their kids are all sitting around a table enjoying a meal listening to how things used to be. In the meantime, I want to live in the moment and savor each and every precious minute of life.

Planning is important, but for too long I have lived with an eye to the future and have missed special blessings happening right now. I want to seize today. Here are some photos of The Crystal Grill.

(Notice the new masthead for the site? I’d love to hear your feedback on it!)

The Power of a Father’s Love

Fair warning! Grab the box of kleenex before you watch the video below.

This is one of the most amazing and challenging stories I have ever come across. Anytime I start feeling sorry for myself, all I have to do is remind myself of Dick Hoyt and his amazing love for his son. What a tremendous testimony to the power of genuine, true love. I start bawling each and every time I watch this, especially at around the 4:40 mark of the video. I am reminded of how my selfish, sinful heart has wounded my precious kids and how many letters I could have written to Dick Hoyt. Thank God for His amazing grace and for His amazing love for us!

This video also reminds me of how powerful God’s love is for me. As amazing as this story is, our heavenly Father loves us perfectly and completely and even more!

Be encouraged, fathers!

Porn-Again Christian

Mark Driscoll, teaching pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, has written Porn-Again Christian that deals head-on with pornography and masturbation. I feel this eBook is a must-read for every husband and father. It is a frank book written by a dude for dudes. Download your copy now.

It is time the Church takes its head out of the sand and stops ignoring these issues. I can’t think of a better discussion starter than this book. I’d love to hear your feedback.